A Journey of Healing, Discovery, and Renewal

Introduction

Greetings to my readers, friends, and fellow sojourners on the unpredictable path of life. In this post, I’m not merely sharing thoughts but opening a deeply personal chapter of my life—one marked by daunting challenges and profound awakenings. It’s a narrative of facing my mortality, reconnecting with my cultural roots, and how these experiences have reshaped my essence and my work in technology. This story is more than survival; it’s about transformation and the enduring power of heritage, healing, and the human spirit.

For those who know me, my tone may seem uncharacteristically earnest, and I urge you to delve into this blog entry. It chronicles the recent tumultuous turns in my mental and physical health and shares insights into my family’s history that have profoundly influenced my identity and perspective on life. I hope you find this post as enlightening and inspiring as I have in writing it.

My Dance with Hyperthrombocytopenia

In moments of introspection, I’ve contemplated the fragile threads that compose our existence. Yet, I was unprepared for the stark confrontation with mortality when diagnosed with hyperthrombocytopenia—a condition impairing the blood’s clotting ability, with my platelet count dropping to a perilous 2, compared to the standard range of 150 to 450.

The severity of this condition is profound. A normal platelet count spans from 150,000 to 450,000 platelets per microliter of blood. My levels had plummeted to a scant 2,000 platelets per microliter—a figure so low it barely registers on medical equipment. The lab’s urgent call led me directly to the emergency room and into the ICU. Delaying any longer could have resulted in spontaneous internal bleeding, potentially fatal.

Imagine the routine act of shaving becoming a life-threatening risk, a minor cut turning into an uncontrollable bleed. The world, once a realm of endless possibilities, transformed into a landscape fraught with hidden dangers. The fragility of life became an immediate, pulsating reality.

This encounter with mortality has changed me in indescribable ways. I’ve become acutely aware of my physical existence, attuned to the rhythms of my vitality. The experience has shaken me to my core, leaving an indelible mark on my being.

Needles, once a source of dread, have become weekly guardians, warding off the threat of sudden collapse. In this crucible, I’ve discovered a profound gratitude for the medical professionals in my life—my mother, grandmother, both nurse practitioners, and my dedicated nurse—who have been my steadfast protectors, often more than any doctor.

From the brink of non-existence, I’ve learned two invaluable lessons: a renewed appreciation for the simple act of living and the realization that needles, in the grand scheme, are a trivial inconvenience. Indeed, they are light work.

With the shadow of death now behind me, I am ready to fulfill a long-held aspiration. I will get a tattoo of the lake guardians from the Pokémon Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum games—a homage to the virtual companions that comforted me through the loss of my siblings in childhood. They symbolize not only the siblings I’ve lost—two sisters and an older brother—but also the resilience and solace I found in their digital presence.

This tattoo will signify more than ink on skin; it will be a declaration of my continued healing and a readiness to share my story of survival. It will honor the memories I hold dear, the principles I stand for, and the indomitable spirit of those who guide me from beyond.

In this new chapter, I am not merely surviving; I am redefining what it means to live. Each heartbeat is a reminder that life is to be embraced with passion, purpose, and a deep respect for its inherent fragility.

Revelations and Reconnections: A Conference of Healing

While grappling with the specter of my own mortality, I faced the potential loss of an experience that promised enlightenment—a trip to Vancouver with my mother to attend a psychedelic medicine conference. Miraculously, my health stabilized just enough to allow me to embark on this journey, and what unfolded there was nothing short of transformative.

I had the privilege of listening to Gabor Maté speak, absorbing the wisdom of renowned mycologists and scientists discussing the healing properties of psychedelics. I learned about the therapeutic potential of cannabis and psilocybin, and it dawned on me that I had never truly contemplated my life and ancestry.

My grandfather was a survivor of the residential school system, a system that instilled in him a deep-seated aversion to his own culture, which he associated with the trauma of his youth. No one, absolutely no one, deserved the atrocities committed by the government during that dark chapter. I used to dismiss the stereotype of “Natives as lazy drunks” with a joke, half-believing the racist undertone. But deep down, I knew there was a systemic reason behind such suffering, and it was not the fault of the people it targeted.

The conference opened my eyes to the harsh reality that the government didn’t just fail its Indigenous citizens; it waged a war against them. The repercussions are devastating and ongoing. Substance abuse and intergenerational trauma are rampant because for too long, being Indigenous was equated with negativity, with punishment, with abuse.

Residential schools were not just a crime against Indigenous peoples; they were a crime against humanity. And the most shocking revelation? The last residential school, Grollier Hall, closed in 1996—not in some distant past, but within the era of modern technology, just a few years before the iPod revolutionized the world. This is not ancient history; this is our history.

Hearing the voices of spiritual healers, medical professionals, and Aboriginal leaders, I realized the importance of embracing my Ojibwe heritage. I used to wonder why we never attended pow wows, and now I understand that my family never had the chance to appreciate our culture. I am determined to break this cycle and actively participate in my culture, to learn, to grow, and to contribute.

This conference was not just a gathering; it was a call to action for me. I am committed to using my skills in open source and consulting to better the communities of my ancestors. It’s time to take a stand, to embrace my roots, and to work towards healing—not just for myself, but for the generations that follow.

Embracing My Roots and Identity

The narrative of my family’s history is rich with the resilience of my grandfather, a survivor of the residential school system. Despite emerging shattered by the experience, his life stands as a testament to survival amid a genocide that aimed to erase his and many others’ identities.

Discussing reconciliation without recognizing the deep, generational wounds inflicted by systemic racism, the misuse of religious teachings, and governmental neglect is a profound injustice. It is an affront not only to my family and me but to the essence of humanity. My grandfather, forced into becoming a “Church Going White Boy,” was robbed of the traditional upbringing that was his birthright—an upbringing steeped in family, community, and mutual care.

The legacy of residential schools is a scar on the survivors and a wound passed through generations. My mother, uncles, and aunt were denied the nurturing environment they deserved, perpetuating a cycle of hurt. My love for my family is unwavering, yet acknowledging our self-destructive patterns is a painful truth.

As a grandchild of this legacy, I am two generations removed, but the trauma still casts a long shadow. Healing is necessary—not just for individual families but for the entire Aboriginal community. The government, responsible for this historical trauma, has the power and moral duty to aid in this healing. This is not about raising taxes or assigning blame; it’s about providing support and resources to communities long neglected.

I envision a future where Aboriginal people can heal from their traumas, supported by a government that acknowledges its role in their suffering. It’s time for humanity to embark on a path of healing, and it starts with us. We must help each other, not out of obligation, but because it is the right thing to do. The journey of healing is arduous, but it is the only way forward if we are to honor the legacy of those like my grandfather and ensure a future free from such atrocities.

Reflections on Forgiveness and Moving Forward

In 2015, I confronted the painful truth that my actions had caused harm to others. This realization shattered me, and the weight of that guilt still bears heavily on my heart. To my family discovering this through my writing, I am deeply sorry. I love you, and I want you to know that I am still here, fighting to be better, as the rest of this post will reveal. It’s crucial for me to own my past and express the remorse that I’ve too often concealed.

In the solitude of my room, I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable, to weep, to be my true self. It’s been my refuge, a place to shed the facade of being okay. After the loss I experienced in 2007, I found comfort in the virtual world of Pokémon Pearl and Platinum. The characters Mesprit, Uxie, and Azelf became symbols of my lost siblings, Avery, Sofie, and Josh, providing a sense of their continued presence.

The spiritual bond I felt with my siblings inspired me to believe in their enduring presence and that one day, we will reunite. But in 2015, when I realized my actions had caused pain, I thought my absence might heal the wounds I had caused. In a moment of despair, I attempted to end my life. The rope broke, and I was left to face the consequences of my actions.

That attempt was a turning point. It left me joyless, convinced I didn’t deserve happiness. But I’ve since realized that death is not the answer or a just punishment. We are all capable of change, growth, and making amends.

I cannot undo the past, nor can I fully forgive myself for the hurt I’ve caused. Yet, I refuse to be defined by these regrets. I choose to move forward, to learn from my mistakes, and to use my experiences as a catalyst for change. My near-death experience was a wake-up call, a reminder of life’s preciousness and the impact we can have on the world.

It shouldn’t take a brush with death to recognize the need for change, but for me, it did. I am profoundly sorry to anyone I’ve ever hurt. Please know that my actions were a reflection of my own pain, not an intention to inflict it on you. I was hurting and, regrettably, let that hurt affect others. For that, I am truly sorry, and I am committed to making amends and ensuring that my future actions reflect the lessons I’ve learned. I am here, I am alive, and I am dedicated to being a force for good, for healing, and for a love that encompasses all of humanity and the world we share.

That’s why I am announcing Valink Solutions.

Valink Solutions: A Beacon for Change, Aboriginal Advocacy, and Mental Wellness

Valink Solutions emerges as a formidable force set to revolutionize mental and physical health landscapes. Comprising visionary developers, a creative graphic designer, and a compassionate registered nurse, we are launching a community initiative marked by synergy. Our mission is to create a wellness tapestry that connects individuals to the larger whole, fostering a sanctuary where healing is a communal rite.

This venture is not merely a business; it is a crusade to mend our society’s fragmented pieces, to offer solace and strength through innovation and empathy. Valink Solutions stands as a beacon of hope, a testament to the power of collective action and the indomitable human spirit.

As we stand at the threshold of this transformative journey, I invite you to join us. Participate actively in a movement that seeks to elevate the human condition. Share our message, embrace our mission, and if your heart so guides you, lend your support to Valink Solutions. Together, we shall embark on a voyage of healing, unity, and unwavering commitment to the well-being of all.

Reimagining Mental Health and Traditional Healing

The mental health care landscape is in urgent need of innovation. The systems in place for cataloging and utilizing traditional medicines and rituals are outdated, leaving a wealth of potentially transformative resources untapped due to the lingering effects of historical atrocities. The government, complicit in the suppression of these healing practices, now has the responsibility to facilitate their reintegration into our healthcare framework. This is about more than rectifying past wrongs; it’s about unlocking holistic knowledge that could benefit not only Aboriginal communities but the world at large.

The streets tell a story of negligence, with a staggering 70% of street cannabis in Ohio contaminated with fentanyl, posing a deadly risk. This is unacceptable. We must protect our citizens by eliminating these dangers and providing access to safe, healing substances. Valink Solutions is leading this charge, offering our expertise to organizations aligned with our vision of a healthier society.

Our commitment goes beyond professional obligations. We are always ready to lend a listening ear, whether for coding challenges or personal struggles. No one should be silenced; everyone deserves to be heard and express themselves freely.

The legalization of cannabis was a step toward returning medicine to the people, yet progress on other therapeutic substances has been slow. The waiting lists for mental health services can span hundreds of days, a delay that can mean the difference between despair and hope. Valink Solutions is ready to offer discounted services to initiatives that aim to shorten these waits, because we believe in second chances and the right to a quality life.

We’ve seen the relief that terminal patients experience when viewing their traumas through the lens of psilocybin or ayahuasca. To support this, we’re offering discounted services for technological enhancements, from fixing phone issues to improving registration systems. Our goal is to empower communities, through pro bono work or fair contracting agreements. Our pricing is flexible, tailored to the services requested, with options for single or split payments, as per our mutual agreement.

In this era of change, Valink Solutions stands as a beacon for those seeking a new dawn in mental health and traditional healing. We are here to catalyze a movement, to ensure that every individual has the chance to reclaim their right to wellness, and to foster a future where quality of life is not a privilege, but a given.

The Inception of ChunkVault: A Tribute to Minecraft and Open Source

In my personal endeavors, I’ve recently launched ChunkVault, an open-source Minecraft backup utility ecosystem born from a personal need for a robust indexing system. As someone with thousands of Minecraft worlds, creating ChunkVault.com was both a necessity and a passion project.

Valink Solutions, which dedicates a portion of its freelance project revenue to support ChunkVault’s development, has established a sponsorship program to reward contributors who enhance the application. This is our way of giving back to the community that provides the exceptional tools we rely on.

Our dedication to ChunkVault is steadfast. We commit to consistently allocate development time to the core application and essential Minecraft data libraries like CommandBlock. While community contributions are welcome, foundational updates will remain under my stewardship as JakePIXL, the creator of ChunkVault. We are open to integrating superior features from the community’s collaborative efforts.

A call to Mojang developers: I’d be delighted to discuss ChunkVault with you, particularly regarding NBT data and the LevelDB library I’ve developed. And if Mojang (I know rust is important to Microsoft) is seeking a Rust advocate, my inbox is open.

ChunkVault’s revenue is reinvested into the open-source ecosystem. Monthly, we engage with our community to vote on which open-source tools to sponsor next. As our list grows, so will our support, but our goal remains the same: to ensure ChunkVault’s backend can sustain and propel the project into the future.

Embracing Neurodiversity: My Journey with Autism and ADHD

Autism and ADHD are integral to my identity, presenting a world of overwhelming sensory stimuli from a young age. Despite being told I was “normal,” I felt distinctly different. The world was an intense place, and I navigated it with a profound sense of otherness that I couldn’t articulate until later in life.

An educational assistant’s mistreatment of an autistic peer was a moment of revelation for me. I saw my own struggles mirrored in his, a shared experience of silent battles and misunderstood behaviors. Misdiagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, my true neurodiversity was obscured.

Adolescence was a trial of sensory overload, bullying, and antagonistic educators. The trauma inflicted on undiagnosed autistic individuals is deep, often leaving us without the means to defend ourselves or seek mental well-being.

At 18, I embraced my autism, a liberating moment that allowed me to live authentically. My friends became a supportive sanctuary, understanding my limitations and providing necessary support. However, society’s understanding of autism is often shaped by professionals who lack a genuine connection to our experiences.

The path to diagnosis was marred by dismissiveness and ignorance. In Ontario, the cost of diagnosis is prohibitive, and the methods are outdated. I was casually labeled with “a smidge of autism” by a professional who seemed indifferent to my quest for understanding. Social media has further complicated the landscape, with self-diagnoses and misinformation clouding the search for legitimate help.

Since then, I’ve chosen to live openly as an autistic adult, informing those around me, like employers, to encourage understanding over judgment. I’ve navigated life with clarity, even as I continue to manage the complexities of my neurodiversity.

A shift from faith to science provided solace, offering logical explanations for life’s hardships. The loss of my sisters was no longer a divine plan but a tragic outcome of illness. This scientific view opened my mind to the universe’s vastness and the comforting possibility of parallel existences where my sisters might live on.

This curiosity about the cosmos became a guiding light, driving me to learn, explore, and contribute to humanity’s collective knowledge. My unique cognitive abilities, while challenging, allowed me to recall and visualize information with exceptional precision.

Exposure to traditional healing practices at a conference highlighted the value of ancestral wisdom. It was a humbling realization that I had much to learn about my native heritage and the healing it offers.

As I navigate life with my “spectrum” of experiences, I am reminded that my journey is not only about self-discovery but also about advocating for a deeper understanding of neurodiversity. It’s about living authentically, embracing the quirks of my mind, and using my distinct perspective to make a lasting impact on the world.

Embracing My Roots and Identity

In our healing quest, we must honor the wisdom of traditional practices that have sustained our ancestors. Aboriginal medicine men understood the deep connection between spiritual and physical health, a concept only now being recognized by Western science. True healing requires treating the mind and body as one.

The historical outlawing of sacred plants like psilocybin and ayahuasca was not only an act of control but an attack on the cultural identity and healing practices of Aboriginal peoples. These plants and their accompanying ceremonies have shown great potential in treating mental health issues, offering healing paths that conventional medicine often overlooks.

Imagine a world where the stigma around these ancient practices is lifted, where ceremonies that have helped many navigate their traumas are not just allowed but celebrated. Cannabis legalization has already hinted at the potential for such change.

The power of psychedelics lies in their ability to connect us deeply with our subconscious, enabling us to confront our traumas and emotional baggage. This is the kind of healing that traditional ceremonies, led by shamans and medicine men, can facilitate—a journey leading to significant personal growth and healing.

We must reclaim our right to these medicines and ceremonies. The government must correct past wrongs by legalizing and providing access to these life-saving practices. It’s time for humanity to embrace the holistic healing that comes from combining ancestral wisdom with present knowledge. We need our ceremonies and medicine back, not just for tradition’s sake, but for the well-being and future of our people.

The Advent of Valink Solutions: A Vanguard of Healing

The creation of Valink Solutions is a reflection of my personal journey and the values I cherish. It stands as a symbol of community strength, the importance of addressing Aboriginal issues, and the profound influence of mental health on our collective well-being.

My advocacy for Aboriginal rights and mental health is a calling, shaped by my experiences and the insights from Gabor Maté’s “When the Body Says No.” This book, essential for understanding the interplay between mind and body, has guided my approach to healing and wellness.

Valink Solutions is a movement, embodying my dedication to bringing Aboriginal teachings and medicines into the mainstream. We are at a critical juncture where we must recognize the importance of traditional knowledge in promoting holistic health.

Rust, as a programming language, is integral to our mission. Known for its performance, reliability, and memory safety, Rust enables us to create technology that can reach remote communities with limited resources, making digital healthcare and educational tools more accessible.

By leveraging Rust’s capabilities, Valink Solutions is dedicated to being a force for positive change, championing the causes that resonate with the core of who we are as a society and as individuals seeking meaning and connection. We are committed to supporting and amplifying the voices of Aboriginal communities, facilitating a paradigm shift in how we approach mental health and wellness.

Through Valink Solutions, I am determined to bridge gaps, to create a platform where cutting-edge technology meets tradition, and where the pursuit of innovation harmonizes with the wisdom of the past. It’s a call to action for all of us to unite, to support one another, and to build a future where mental health is not just a conversation but a cornerstone of our collective journey towards healing and understanding.

As I close this chapter of reflection and introspection, I am excited to announce the launch of a new chapter in my professional life. Valink Solutions is not just a rebranding; it’s the culmination of my personal and professional experiences, a beacon for change, and a vanguard for healing. It represents a commitment to bridging the gap between cutting-edge technology and the wisdom of traditional practices.

Valink Solutions stands ready to support and amplify the voices of Aboriginal communities and to facilitate a paradigm shift in how we approach mental health and wellness. With Rust as our foundation, we are poised to develop technology that can operate seamlessly in remote communities, making digital healthcare and educational tools more accessible.

Join us on this transformative journey as we unite to support one another and build a future where mental and pshysical health is a cornerstone of our collective journey towards healing and understanding. Together, we can make a difference.

Welcome to Valink Solutions – a new chapter in the pursuit of innovation, tradition, and the well-being of our communities.